Thursday, September 6, 2007
It's that time once again, yes it's Christmas. Some well organized souls have already purchased the presents they intend to give to their loved ones. In fact some really 'together people` bought their gifts as long ago as the Sales which rapidly follow the previous Christmas spending bonanza.
But if you are anything like me, you did not do that! So now you are faced with the
Christmas shopping experience. You are confronted with overcrowded shops and stores which are frequently overheated and uncomfortable after the winter chill of the outdoors and your first reaction is to get out of there as quickly as possible.
That means you are not inclined to carefully consider the choice of gift you are buying and that is a great pity! Why? Well, a present is a token of your love and appreciation for the person to whom you are giving it! It's too easy to buy
Dad a pair of socks and Mom a scarf or pair of gloves. Come to think of it you gave them the same thing last Christmas and unless you are careful you will do exactly the same thing next year.
The colorful wrapping paper is torn open and the symbol of your love and appreciation for the recipient is replaced by a sigh of resignation and the unwanted item placed in a
drawer until one day it is tossed into someone's garage sale.
Some more enterprising individuals attempt to exchange the unwanted present for something they do want. This of course depends on whether or not the donor is prepared to surrender the necessary information and documentation to make such an exchange possible. Shops are not obliged to exchange items that are nor damaged or faulty and of course you will have to provide them with a receipt as proof of purchase and not all givers are prepared to help out in this way.
So here's a few words of advice in this frenzied shopping season:
If you buy someone a gift, why not give them the opportunity to exchange it if they don't like the item. In order to do this you will have to ask the shop if they are prepared to exchange unwanted Christmas presents. If they are, be sure to note the name of the assistant and jot it down on the receipt.
When you exchange gifts add a little note to the package saying that if the recipient doesn't like the present you will not take offence, but instead urge them to contact you and you will produce the receipt so the friend or family member can return the item to the shop from which it was purchased.
Alternatively, you could do all of your Christmas shopping via the internet which will spare you the discomfort and hassle of the traditional Christmas present shopping rush.
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Relocating? Got Furniture?
There are many businesses out there which rent furniture by the month. You need a couch? Rent one for only $40 per month. Need a lamp? You can get one for $12 a month. Now,
let's see, in one year you would have paid $480 to use the couch and you wouldn't own it. The lamp would have cost you $144 and it's the same situation ~ at the end of your lease, you still own nothing.
Most of us would think it foolish to rent furniture. But, that isn't always the case. There are situations where renting may be the best option. Consider these scenarios:
• Your company transfers you to a new location but the rest of your family is staying in your present home until the school year ends and that's 4 months away. You buy a house and live in it until your family arrives. Do you go out and buy new furniture or do you rent a few necessities in the meantime?
• Right after you get married, you move into a new home. You and your spouse haven't decided how you
want to decorate your home. Do you rush your decisions or do you rent furniture until you find the style that will please you both?
• You graduate from college and accept a position in an unfamiliar city. You find an apartment that has everything you want, except furniture. You can't afford to go out and purchase the items you'll need right away. What do you do?
If you find yourself in any of these situations, renting all or part of your furniture may be a viable option. The thing you have to keep in mind is that it's never a long-term solution. From the figures in the first paragraph, you can see how expensive renting is over the long haul.
However, when you find yourself without furniture, short term rental may be your best option. If you don't have the cash or credit to purchase what you need, or if you only plan to be without furniture for a little while, short-term rental may be the best solution.
Most furniture rental companies offer several options from which to choose. Most of them also offer packages in
different price ranges, depending on the style and quality of the furniture you require.
• The bedroom package usually includes a double or queen-size bed, night stand and lamp, and 1 chest.
• A living room package provides a couch, end table and lamp, cocktail table, and a chair.
• A dining room package includes a table and 4 chairs.
• A complete home package includes all of the above.
• You can also rent any accessories you may need, including cookware and china, rugs, additional lamps, TV's, stereos, etc.
As long as you rent only what you need and do so for as short a time as possible, furniture rental may be the solution you need. But, don't forget to calculate the cost of your rent or mortgage along with the cost of your furniture rental before you decide which package to choose.
If money is an issue, one question you need to ask yourself is this: do you really need the most expensive package or can you get by with the more generic and economical choice for 2 or 3 or 4 months? Unless you plan to do a lot of business entertaining, the answer is obvious.
In short, furniture rental can be an economically sound solution to your problem, if you use your common sense and don't get in over your head. It beats sleeping on the floor any day!
Kyle Thomas Haley has been helping people relocate on the Internet since 1999 with Apartment and Relocation Websites:
Apartment Rental Net
and
A Relocation and Moving Guide
Copyright 1999 – 2005 STANZEEKAY Inc. You have permission to publish this article, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included and none of the links or content are removed or changed.
Visit Family Without Backsliding!
Copyright 2005 Willingness Works
You know all the growth you've done since your last family visit? And those vows concerning different ways you'll behave with them this time? Well, here's the catch: no matter how good your intentions, you may be at risk of kissing some of that great progress good-bye, at least temporarily, when you're with your family. Here are some tips for greatly reducing that possibility! If visiting family is a challenge for you, for holidays or at any other time, don't leave home without first reviewing this vital tips!
While there is a chance that you might slip back into habits you don't want to repeat, the good news is that there are ways to reduce your chances of backsliding - and strategies for bouncing back when you backslide anyway.
The secret to using these tips is to recognize that there are certain long-standing patterns of interaction in your family that are unpleasant for you, but which they and you are used to you playing a role in these patterns that you no longer enjoy filling. Why people lapse back into these undesired patterns to begin with is an article in itself. How to avoid being triggered - and what to do when you are caught in a trigger dance - is the focus of this article.
The biggest key to visiting family without backsliding is to develop your own personal "Triggering Response Plan." This plan has two main parts to it. The first has to do with the planning you do prior to visiting. The second is the action areas to focus on during the visit itself.
THREE PLANNING AREAS PRIOR TO VISITING: 1) "Trigger Dance" Preparation, 2) Logistics Planning & 3) Self-Care Planning.
TRIGGER DANCE PREPARATION: A "Trigger Dance" is a pattern in which two or more people interact in such a way that one or more of them gets upset or otherwise loses their sense of wellbeing (that is, is triggered).
1) List the family Trigger Dances you expect could occur during this visit;
2) Describe your traditional role in each of them;
3) For each Trigger Dance, make a list of three alternatives to your usual role (these could include ways you might prevent the dance from starting, ways you could respond differently once the dance starts but before much damage is done and/or ways you could take better care of yourself after the damage is done);
4) List how these of your potential new dance steps might rock the family boat;
5) Based on this information, decide which boat-rocking risks you're willing to take should that Trigger Dance occur.
LOGISTICS PLANNING - Decide ahead of time: 1) Where you'll stay during your visit; 2) Who you'll visit and for how long; 3) Which activities you will participate in; and 4) Who you want to spend more and less time with during these activities.
SELF-CARE PLANNING - Make some commitments to yourself ahead of time for some excellent self-care. Self-care activities include: meditation, prayer time, naps, eating something healthy, exercise, walks, meetings, support system phone calls or visits, journal writing, surrendering control, abstaining from anesthesia, reading, laughing, listening to music, or visualizing white light protecting you and your family.
FOUR ACTION AREAS DURING YOUR VISIT: 1) Day-Beginning Activities, 2) Trigger Dance Responses, 3) Dealing with the Unexpected, and 4) Day-Ending Activities.
BEGINNING-OF-DAY CENTERING ACTIVITIES - Start the day with quiet time seeking guidance and wisdom, and reviewing your self-care priorities and your Trigger Dance response plan selections.
TRIGGER DANCE RESPONSES - When you feel triggered: 1) Take a time-out (it's really okay to graciously bow out of a family interaction, especially when you already know how it's going to end!);
2) Try responding differently (with more love and less anger, with more vulnerability and less controllingness, with more directness and less beating around the bush, with more compassion and less judgment, and/or with a boundary instead of resentment); or
3) Hold off responding differently and just practice observing how this interaction or Trigger Dance happens in the first place.
DEALING WITH THE UNEXPECTED - Be on the lookout for:
1) Family Trigger Dances - or contributing behaviors of your own - that you never quite understood before;
2) Spontaneously and naturally acting in new, wonderful ways that you didn't know you were capable of;
3) Not needing to intervene with someone you'd planned to because they've already changed.
END-OF-DAY REJUVENATION ACTIVITIES - Celebrate the changes you made. Even if others didn't respond joyously to the new you, you still deserve credit for being more authentic and genuine.
Best wishes in using your Triggering Response Plan to prevent backsliding on your next family visit!
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Dr. David Gruder is a California licensed psychologist & Director of Willingness Works. An award-winning self-improvement author, he also has over 70 audios, including "Healing the Holidays" and "The Ultimate Challenge: Being With Family Without Backsliding." For more information, go to http://www.willingness.com and click on "Solutions" and then "Holidays."
